i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
