It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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