is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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