I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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