I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
