I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize