i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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