Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
