I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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