why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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