i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
