The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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