I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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