On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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