Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
In America we eat man semen.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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