Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
