she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
