obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
