I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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