Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
