dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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