I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
