..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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