If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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