you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
