i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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