His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
