He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
