Whod you bang
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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