rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
