Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
