i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
