I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
