I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he thought i was a dude.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
