that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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