I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
