He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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