Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
