I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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