some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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