Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
