I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
