wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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