WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
