Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize