Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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