so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
