I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
