Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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