we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
