So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
