He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
