she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
