You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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