swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
