She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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