How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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