I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
