Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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