Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
