My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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