We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
