I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
high people should be assigned attendants
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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