ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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