my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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