Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize